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hatebreed and agnostic front   
11:44am 23/12/2007
 
mood: thirsty
were fucken amazing last night. the whole show was fucken sick. except during god forbid when those guys got into a fight and smashed my ankle into the stairs. not cool. but i got over it. agnostic front is amazing. everyone should see them at least once. hatebreed was awesome as usual tho. heres some things that i learned at the show

1- some guys are serious douches
2- charging into someone over and over again in the pit is an acceptable form of dancing
3- until i kick them in the face
4- stupid 15 year olds think theyre hardcore by charging me over and over again
5- until i kick them in the face
6- i can kick super high
7- ugly people need to know their roll in the world. below the pretty ones!!!
8- everyone loves a hot girl in the pit that can kick your ass
9- except an ugly bitch
10- last breath will always make me cry.doomsayer too
11- i have gotten most of my strength back after being sick and in the hospital twice this year
12- after being in the pit for an entire show and dancing my ass off i can stand outside in a tank top when theres snow on the ground comfortabley

** i guess i should explain 10. in two years ive lost three friends. i went to sohails funeral yesterday morning before the show. rich was crazy about hatebreed and used to drive from pennsylvania to poughkeepsie to see them. doomsayer was his favourite song and i got a little teary-eyed during that song too. one of the last times i saw jesse was at a hatebreed show at croc rock in allentown pennsylvania

*RIP*
Rich Schuman
Sohail Mirza
Jesse Bush
Always in my heart. Never forgotten
 
     

(3 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
warped tour   
09:16am 13/08/2007
 
mood: awake
euh... i fucken suck at this lj thing. i never remember to write stuff...

so i went to warped tour at nassau colliseum last sat. holy shit... i only go because its like a ritual now. my summer wouldnt be complete w.out my day in the sun w.half naked 14 year olds. the bands are kind of worthless now. we saw paramore, throwdown, as i lay dying, bad religion, some of a straylight run and new found glory, and underoath

i love paramore to death but i never felt more like a loser in my life. well... maybe not as much as a loser as the douche who started a pit during paramores set... that takes a special kind of person

throwdown was really good actually. they played some new stuff and it sounds like theyre going back to their old stuff (pre-haymaker) which is def a good move for them. they incited the largest circle pit ive ever seen in my life. it went around 2 tents. winnie the pooh also resurfaced during their set. i havent seen that kid in years. its amusing that hes kept that shit up for so long. i dont know how he didnt die of heat stroke wearing that fucken head to toe furry suit outside all day in august

as i lay dying was good too. nothing special tho

ive never seen bad religion before. bill is the punk in the relationship but i have to say they were really good. i would almost consider applying at ucla. their singer just seems so intelligent. its really good to see bands like that doing their thing altho i saw the worst thing all day during bad religions set. before the band comes on i see this mid 30 looking guy holding a kid of about 5 or 6 in his arms. im thinking 'sweet. thats adorable.' the kid even has a teeny lil spike bracelet on. the band comes on and plays a couple songs. i notice that the guy is jumping around the pit w.the kid in his arms. i was a little confused but i figure 'wow... thats one tough lil kid' until i look closer and realize that the kid is bawling... tears streaming from his face and that fucken asshole is yelling at him telling him to stop crying. that is not the way to break your kid into this kind of music. when he thinks of bad religion all he will remember is that day he was outside all day and got his ass beat when he was 5. not cool

i hate to say it but i forgot i knew all those new found glory songs. their singles... i never went and bought their album. they did play an awesome cover of kiss me by sixpence none the richer

underoath was good too. nothing special again. we booked it after them and went to pf changs to eat dinner. my hand may or may not be broken. its not looking so hot. cold stone afterwards and then i drove bill back home to jersey. i had a good time but i hate going to shows like this. i feel like i should be getting paid to babysit. im going to seriously reconsider going next year... unless they have a really awesome line-up, which hasnt happened in a while
 
     

(1 fuck | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
tattooie!!!   
01:30am 28/05/2007
 
mood: happy
so i finally got a new one. its not done yet. just the outline so far. its in a slightly risque spot so im putting it behind a cut

showin some legCollapse )
 
     

(6 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
worst day!!!   
06:13pm 18/05/2007
 
mood: tired
euh... today fucken sucked. i was up until 6am making a cheat sheet for my sociology test. almost didnt make it cuz i slept through my alarm. went to go walk dogs afterwards and got into an accident! i was parked on the street and pulling out and i swear i looked and there was no one there. this old bitch came out of nowhere and we hit. shes like 70 and had to have been speeding cuz like i said... i swear i looked. she had minor dents on her car and get this... my entire fucken front bumper came off... AAH!!! and my headlight was cracked. not on the outside but along the base inside. she called the cops and we did info swap. i crammed my bumper into my backseat and went to the garage and thank god they fixed it. they even buffed off some of the extraneous paint i have accumulated from previous scrapes. there is a small dent on the left side but there was no damage at all to the bumper. for some reason the whole damn thing just flew off. driving around w.it in the back was fun too. it completely blocked out my rear view mirror. i could not see ANYTHING behind me
 
     

(2 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
valeze is wonderful   
10:07pm 13/05/2007
 
mood: exhausted
heres a pic i found of me randomly on the internet from the valeze show at the hiro ballroom

 
     

(2 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
give it another shot   
03:35pm 13/05/2007
 
mood: tired
thats right. i will try to do that. good luck to me...

so on the subject of random as hell... i got a new tattoo. the latin word for hyena 'hyaena' graffiti style on my right hip. why you ask? why not? i really want a horse on my ribcage but i think the pain might actually kill me

in other good news i will have enough credits to transfer to a real school finally. i hate queensboro. nothing against community colleges but this particular one is full of fake ghetto wannabe idiots. my business teacher told me that someone handed in an entire essay w.the word 'are' written as the letter r. if youre doing that in college you should really just quit and go get a job cleaning bathrooms. i dont know where i want to go yet tho. preferably in nyc or another large city

last night i went to jens fiances surprise b-day party. that was fun. i got lost in the south bronx for an hour and a half by myself. she wanted people to get there between 7:30 and 8 to be in time for the surprise. i was in the bronx at 7:30 but didnt make it to the party till 9:30 because the bronx had other plans for me. i didnt want to get out and ask for directions cuz i had no one w.me and i was wearing a miniskirt. i was in a mcdonalds drive thru trying to get directions when i decided to call jen who had the dj give me directions. it was fun when i finally got there. jens fiance is a marine so yea. good times. really nice people tho. after the party they all wanted to keep partying on bell blvd in bayside and i was going to follow but i kinda sorta got sick on the way so i just went home. irish car bombs on an empty stomach is not a good idea for me
 
     

(fuck it hard. harder.)

 
fuck 9/11... sort of...   
06:16pm 11/09/2006
  i am so sick of the constant barage of 9/11 footage and memorial this and memorial that. im not trying to trivialize the tragedy of the event or the people that died that day. trust me im not going to 'forget' what happened on 9/11 anytime soon unless i suffer a severe head trauma. it seems like the only people who want to 'remember' are the ones who weren't there. as someone who ran for her life that day i dont need to see the images and video again and again on tv. i still have nightmares that are just as vivid as any video on tv that move me to tears. so please, lay off and have some respect  
     

(1 fuck | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
do your hips lie? mine dont...   
05:21pm 10/09/2006
 
mood: content
so on friday... i... saw... SHAKIRA!!!!!!

shes absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous. we had floor seats so i could actually see her! shes amazing. and shes inspired me to take bellydancing lessons
 
     

(1 fuck | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
anesthetic love   
05:04pm 24/02/2006
 
mood: cranky
i am now minus four wisdom teeth... and cranky as hell
 
     

(1 fuck | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
some research to entertain...   
10:04am 10/02/2006
 
mood: aggravated
...as of wed there have been 38 murders in philly. lets see... what was wed's date? the 8th you say? and how many days in january? 31? thats 39 days... 38 murders in 39 days... good job guys.

PA = USELESS
 
     

(3 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
holy shitt...   
04:27am 22/01/2006
 
mood: scared
...my bracelet is caught on my earring
...i think i may die like this
...somebody please help me!
 
     

(fuck it hard. harder.)

 
FUCK COPS!!!   
05:58pm 21/01/2006
 
mood: aggravated
to this day i have yet to meet a competent and even somewhat human/e cop. you are all a bunch of lazy pieces of shit who cant even do your own jobs. d'you know how many arrests id make if i was a cop? d'you know how easy it is to catch people making drug deals? open your fucking eyes. i see it every fucking day. so the solution to your inability to perform your own job is to make people snitch on each other?! and for all the times some dirty seedy guy decided to get his rocks off by molesting me in the subway... where were the cops then? getting high off the drugs you confiscate that get 'lost?' you are all fucking worthless and i hope you fucking rot
 
     

(fuck it hard. harder.)

 
   
10:12pm 07/12/2005
 
mood: blank
4...5...
...still alive
 
     

(2 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
im back i swear   
05:24am 15/11/2004
 
mood: tired
i keep telling myself i need to start writing in this more. i will this time. fo sho. the whole school experience this year has been... well... interesting. i fucken love having my own apartment. it means i get to be all kinds of shady and i can have my own space to be shady in. ive even managed to smuggle a dog into the apartment. bebe aka baby bitch aka the 4lb terror. half chocolate lab half pit bull all crazy. its almost like bill and i have a kid. which brings me to another interesting aspect of my life now. in an effort to not post the contents of my personal life online im going to be pretty sparse in what im going to say. he is the cause of both my sanity and my insanity right now. im confused about a lot of things and i imagine that no amount of thinking could ever clear this up because im having a difficult time getting straight answers out of anyone. and what i want to believe is not necessarily what certain facts point to. everything is just always so goddamn complicated. and to top it all off, i would probably believe bill if he told me that pigs flew out of his ass. hes just got that winning smile. and i melt whenever i see him. but whatever. i wonder if you can lose enough blood through your lip to make you pass out. as a nervous habit i have recently started chewing the shit out of my lip and am very close to mangling it. but once again, whatever. gotta get back to writing this fucken fashion paper. it is 5:30am after all...
 
     

(2 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
whole shitload of pics   
12:00am 12/09/2004
 
mood: worried
narcicisstic as fuckCollapse )
 
     

(9 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
losing my marbles...   
12:15pm 09/09/2004
 
mood: crazy
someone is playing what i can only barely grasp as music that sounds like an old drunk toothless man rambling and banging on a pot while sitting in a rocking chair on a porch drinking whiskey in very close proximity of my window...

...and i am going
Y

R

A

C

Z
 
     

(2 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
for anybody that may be interested...   
01:55am 05/08/2004
 
mood: tired
i will be at the head automatica show at cbs thurs. your presence is requested...
 
     

(2 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)

 
let me in your arms to feel...   
12:03am 27/07/2004
 
mood: bored
...the beating of your heart baby

ive been listening to that song like a fiend. and i get to see head automatica twice next week. bump

i missed hellfest, but i would be so much broke-er now if i had gone. and i probly wouldntve survived bad luck 13. im one of those unlucky shits that wouldve gotten swept up in the crowd while trying to leave and beaten to a pulp by bats wrapped in barbed wire. i get hurt always. that is rule #1

i have something in my eye. i just thought i should share that

check in day at lehigh is aug 22. the countdown begins


in spite of you, even out of you... still i love all of you... i do
 
     

(fuck it hard. harder.)

 
   
06:17pm 20/07/2004
  one day im going to disappear and no one is going to notice...  
     
 
out of the way boys im a girl on a mission   
01:03am 06/07/2004
 
mood: tired
the party on july 3rd was an interesting experience. i just have to say that steve-o on tv is a lot more appealing than steve-o in person, and yes i mean the one from jackass. watching him vomit in real person is far more horrendous than watching him vomit on tv. and after he fed a guy half a bottle of tequila only to release him back into the audience so that him and me could get into a fight after he molested me... yea my opinion of jackass has changed slightly. im just gonna stick to watching him on tv. and not even religiously anymore. but whatever. bringing sue to her 1st party was a lot of fun. and kinda sorta but not really partying w.brian, more like walking a couple blocks outside

so ive made up my mind. nobody is allowed to bring me down anymore. im ditching some unneeded weight in my life and making a turn for the better. i am an empowered woman, as mr donin would say. its not all about ball bashing tho. just seeing people for who they really are

and in other news, my life may be making a drastic location change. stay tuned for more...
 
     

(2 fucks | fuck it hard. harder.)